If Wishes Were Sues, Satan Would Rise
by Twisted Ingenue
Summary: Everyone wants beauty. Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants a life full of adventure, excitement, and romance. But some people, people like homely Ellen, want it too much. Join Ellen as she finds what can arise from wishes gone wrong...Mary Sues.
1. Chapter 1

Beauty. Charm. Grace. Courage. Who wouldn't want them? Who in their right mind _wouldn't _want them? They are indeed the gifts that give all. Adoration. Adventure. Friendship. Love. Things that the human heart most desires…

And the human instinct requires that, when given the opportunity, we snatch our desires and hide them away in our shirt pockets so no one can take them back. It's our nature, really. It's in our blood. Especially if we're lacking considerably in many areas. If you are ugly, naturally you will long to be beautiful. If you are dim-witted, of course you will desire to be intelligent. If you are weak, you will undoubtedly wish to be strong. It's a fact of life. There's no way to avoid it.

But…what if there's a price? Well, of course there always is. Plastic surgery is painful. Studying is tedious. Working out is exhausting…

But, what if there's an even larger price to pay? Well, naturally you should expect to receive even more in return, but that's not the point. What I'm trying to get at is this:

_What if, to possess everything you desire, you must become someone else? _

Now, I'm not talking about some kind of new-agey "self-renewal" crap. I'm talking about a complete metamorphosis. No. Scratch that. I'm talking about an absolutely radical transmutation. So extreme that you hardly feel like yourself. So colossal that you don't even know your name. So tremendous that you start to doubt if your thoughts are truly your own. So drastic that when you look in the mirror, you find yourself asking "Who's that?".

Let's make things even worse, shall we?

What if the thing you become is something you've despised and feared your entire life? What if, to possess everything you desire, you become a _monster?_

I'll bet you're starting to think about how much you _really_ want those particular desires of yours. Whether it's beauty, brains, charisma, or all of the above, you might actually reconsider your previous decision to take them, now that the stakes are much higher. You might be thinking, "Do I _really_ want this?"

Let me tell you. I really _did_ want it. I wanted it all. I wanted it more than anything in the world. At one point, I might've given my soul to the devil just to be beautiful for a day. To be adored for a day. To be a hero for a day. To be loved for a day. Yes. For one fleeting _day _of magnificence, I was willing to trade my soul for all eternity. Luckily, I never got the chance to do _that._ If I had, I would not be writing this now.

But although my soul remains mostly in-tact, the decision I made to acquire my heart's desire was just as twisted and depraved as a deal with Satan.

Yes, reader. If you haven't guessed already, I, Ellen Johns, did the unthinkable, sacrificing every ounce of dignity in my being…

I became a Mary Sue.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A.N. I promise that the Supernatural we know and love will appear in the next chapter. But I swear this chapter isn't just crap that introduces the characters. It's vital to the plot. So…enjoy!**_

…

You know what? Being ugly sucks. Seriously. If you're not ugly, you probably won't understand. But if you are, I'll bet you can concur. _Being ugly sucks._

Oftentimes, when one is bestowed with the wretched curse of ugliness, he or she values beauty more than anything in the world. And let me tell you, _I_ was one of those people. I was a girl that believed beauty was everything.

And it's true, isn't it? Well…back then I thought so.

Beauty is the omnipotent jewel of all God-given gifts. With beauty, I believed, one can have anything and everything. With beauty, you're adored. With beauty, you can enchant all men. With beauty, you can easily have a lover. With beauty, you earn respect. When you're beautiful, everyone wants you.

And that's what I wanted. I wanted it more than anything.

But, back to the subject of ugliness and the fact that it, indeed, _sucks_. I, if you haven't guessed yet, know from firsthand experience about how much it sucks to be ugly. Yes, I was ugly. And let me tell you, the mere degree of suckiness that being ugly possessed could break a thermometer. If…um…there _was_ such a thermometer that could accurately calculate suckiness.

Alright, alright…I'll stop rambling now and get to the point. I was ugly and I wanted to be pretty. Not exactly an uncommon circumstance.

But what happened to me was not, by any means a common occurrence. In fact, it was so out of the ordinary that I'll bet you won't even believe me when I tell you. But I implore you to hear me out. Maybe you're crazy enough to take my word for it.

So, are you ready to hear about how it all started?

Now, I could lie and start my story with something brilliantly dramatic like "It all started when I caught sight of his visage in the moonlight" or "It all started when I felt the cold knife against my throat". But, do you really want me to lie? Well, even if you _do_ want me to lie, it's my story and I'm going to be honest with you…

_It all started in an underwear store._

…

"CiCi, why would I _ever…_wear a _sequined_ thong?"

"Because it's on sale."

Of course it was on sale. If it _weren't_ on sale, CiCi wouldn't even give it a second glance.

Oh…I'm sorry. I forgot that I needed to tell you about CiCi.

Cecily (CiCi for short) had been my closest friend since our freshman year in high school. In fact, she was one of my only friends. And vice-versa.

CiCi and I bonded almost instantaneously when we met. You see, we were the misfits. We were the girls that ate at the corner table in the cafeteria with the heroin addicts and the pregnant girl. We were the girls that stayed at home during prom night. We were the freaks. So naturally, we clicked.

Now CiCi wasn't particularly unattractive. She had (to my envy) a perfect figure and pretty green eyes. However, her parents were kind of the hippy type and didn't believe in orthodontia. And unfortunately, CiCi was an individual who would have greatly benefited from braces. Her two front teeth were unbelievably oversized and they were so crooked that she couldn't even use them to chew. There was also a gigantic gap between them, earning her the title of "The Girl with the Giant Gap in Her Teeth". Yeah…kids can be _so_ creative.

But anyway, we were friends. We even went off to college together and became roommates.

"So?" I held up the hot pink, sequined nightmare of a thong, wrinkling my nose in distaste.

"It's…on sale." I forgot to mention that due to CiCi's dental dilemma she had a pretty distinct lisp. So when she said "sale" it sounded more like "thale". As you can guess, her name was quite an annoyance to her for she either had to be "Thi-Thi" or "Thethily".

"I wonder why." I rolled my eyes before ending the sarcasm. "CiCi…think about it. I mean…_ow."_

CiCi shuddered. "You're right. It'd be like having a cactus in your pants."

"And up your butt too." I mentioned, causing us to giggle like schoolgirls.

"Okay…" CiCi took a deep breath to calm herself although there was still a broad smile on her freckled face. "What about this? You're 36 C, right?"

"Yeah…" But when I saw what she pulled out of the shopping basket, I froze in horror. A lacy bra. _Purple. _"No way in _Hell!"_

"What's wrong with it?" CiCi raised her eyebrows. "It'd look great on you. And the lining is some kind of velvet, I think—"

"_No." _I shook my head furiously. "It's _purple."_

"What do y—?" CiCi stopped herself, mouthing an "Ohhhh". Soon afterwards, however, she let out a little giggle. "Ellie! You can't _still_ be all paranoid about _that!_ I mean, come _on!_ That was seventh grade!"

"I'm not gonna be freaking called _"Plumpy" _again." I scowled. What I was referring to was the time in seventh grade I went to the school dance in a purple dress. And unfortunately, seventh grade was when I was practically a whale. Anyway, the day afterwards in school, I figured out a group of boys had christened me "Plumpy" (the name of the plum guy in the game "Candy Land) because I apparently looked like a plum. Well, I guess it's cleverer than "The Girl with the Giant Gap in her Teeth".

"But it'll be _under_ your clothes, Ellen." CiCi persisted, playing with a lock of her silky, ginger hair. "No one could see it!"

"Touché." I sighed. She had a very valid point. "I mean…what guy's going to take off _my_ shirt to see it?"

"I know one guy…" CiCi smirked, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"What do you mean?" I looked at her incredulously.

"Well…" CiCi ran a hand through her hair. "When you go to doctor's appointments and all—"

"CiCi!" I feigned offense and slapped her with the sequined thong. "You're such a jerk!" She then hit me over the head with the purple bra and we had a little "thong vs. bra" battle until the store clerk gave us a glare.

"Let's get out of here." CiCi suggested, breathless with laughter. "Unless there's something you—" Suddenly she halted, mouth slowly falling open.

"CiCi?" I looked over at her, concerned. "CiCi? Are you—?"

"OH MY GOSH!"

Everyone in the store turned to look at us. _Awkward._ Luckily, since we weren't much to look at, they went back to their business, even though that clerk took a few extra moments to glower at us.

"Ow." I held my hand to my ear. "Thanks for bursting my eardrum."

"Sorry." CiCi mumbled, blushing.

"What was that all about anyway?" I questioned.

"Oh!" CiCi immediately brightened. She can be a bit bipolar at times. "Look over there!" She pointed in the direction of a mannequin about ten feet away. "Isn't it _gorgeous?"_

It actually _was_ a rather impressive article of clothing. Lingerie, I mean. It seemed to be made with a mix of velvet and silk, with silvery, lightly glittered lace across the plunging neckline. The beautiful garment was such a delicate shade of blue that it almost seemed white. Especially in the areas crafted from velvet, giving the blue color an almost snowy effect. To top it off, there was an elegant little crystal right at the point of the unique dip in the middle of the neckline. It was lingerie fit for an angel.

"It is." I murmured, in awe. Now, typically I wasn't the kind of girl to go gaga over clothes, but there was just something about the tiny nightgown that captivated me. Enchanted me. Beguiled me. Pulled me in. And…I may have been imagining it, but it seemed like there was a celestial _glow_ surrounding it.

"I'd try it on, but it'd look horrible with my hair." CiCi commented, breaking my train of thought. However, I did not tear my eyes away from it. "Ellen? Why don't _you_ try it on?"

I inwardly gasped in delight at the thought of it. Feeling that beautiful velvet brushing against my thighs, the silk cloaking my stomach, the jewel between my…

"Yoo hoo! Earth to Ellen!" A hand waved in front of my face and I snapped out of it.

"I…"

"Try it on!" CiCi urged. "I know you want to!"

"No way that would…fit me." The words coming out of my mouth burned like hot oil. I didn't want it to be true. I wanted it to fit me. I wanted that lingerie to be mine. More than anything…

CiCi grabbed me by the hand and pulled me over to it. Without hesitation she began pulling at the fabric, an action that made me want to scream. How dare she touch it in such a disrespectful manner!

"It's stretchy," she demonstrated, tugging at the exquisite cloth. "Try it on."

"It's…" I could barely speak. I wanted to try it on. I…wished to try it on. More than anything…

"Excuse me!" CiCi shouted, waving over to the store clerk. "Is this the last one of these?!"

I wished to own it. I wished to wear it. More than anything…

"Yes ma'am." the store clerk clenched her teeth. "Would you like to try it on?"

I wished it would fit me. I…somehow wished it…more than _life_…

"No…she does." CiCi gestured to me and the store clerk raised her eyebrows in skepticism,

"Well…it hasn't sold for awhile." the store clerk confessed, looking as if she were stifling a laugh. "But if she…does damage to it…she has to buy it, understood?"

"Understood." CiCi nodded sharply.

"Alright…" the store clerk took it carefully off the mannequin, muttering to herself, "At least this means a definite sale."

"Thank you!" CiCi snatched the garment from her and dragged me over to the dressing room. "Come on! What're you waiting for, Ellen?" She tossed the lingerie into my arms. I was holding it. I was actually _holding_ it. The feel of it left me in sheer awe. Soft. Softer than the wings of an angel…

"_Please let it fit me." _I prayed, stepping into the dressing room, closing the door behind me. _"I wish it would fit me. I wish, I wish...more than anything…" _Why was I thinking this way? Had someone slipped something into the Icee I had earlier?

I slipped out of my flip-flops, feeling the scratchy Berber carpet digging into my feet. But before I took off anything else, I took a moment and gazed into the long mirror before me. What I witnessed was what I've always seen. My reflection. Broad frame. Flabby thighs. Unwanted curves. A mass of frizzy, wild curls. Ugly. I was ugly, like I'd always be.

A sigh escaped from my hopelessly too small lips. I wasn't worthy of the magnificent article in my arms. Not worthy at all.

But I wished to be. I wished to be worthy more than anything…

I peeled off the rest of my clothes, eyes avoiding the sight of my reflection. I hated seeing myself naked. Pasty. Fat. I couldn't bear it.

"You doin' alright in there?" CiCi asked from behind the door.

"Y-Yeah…" I replied weakly, picking up the beautiful lingerie with trembling hands. Squeezing my eyes shut, I slipped it over my head.

"_I wish it would fit. I wish I could have it. I wish it'll make me look beautiful…"_

Everything became silent. Silence like I had known before. It engulfed me with its ethereal hush, filling my ears, my mind, my heart, my soul…

A brilliant light penetrated through my eyelids, but I did not dare open my eyes. I didn't move. I didn't even breathe…

But that's when I realized something. The lingerie _fit._ In fact, it fit like a glove. Not too tight. Not too loose. It _fit._

"_How?!" _I thought incredulously. "_How can it possibly fit me?!"_

"Because you wished for it."

Now _there_ was a perfect "What the Hell" moment.

My eyes flew open and I screamed. A screamed like I had never screamed before.

There before me was the most terrifying thing that I had ever been in the presence of. Even a description of it wouldn't do it justice. However, I will give it a shot:

A woman. A woman who appeared to be made of solid diamond. From her head, white fire cascaded down to the floor. Her hair. From two large sockets on her face, swirling pools of water poured down her impeccably carved cheeks. Her eyes. Her mouth, diamond molded into lips, trapping a substance redder than blood. Perhaps it w_as_ blood.

She…_it_…was clad in the strangest of dresses. Smoke. Dark, grey smoke served as her dress, churning and billowing. But it didn't blow away like it should have. In fact, nothing about this…_thing_ was what it should be. Her hair should've ignited the entire dressing room, but it didn't. Her eyes should've run dry, but they didn't. She shouldn't've even _existed…_but she did.

I kept screaming, but it seemed as if my screams were swallowed by that deathly silence. Why was no one coming? Couldn't anyone hear me?

"It will do no good, Ellen." the creature's mouth simply opened as she spoke, blood pouring out. But by some queer phenomenon, her voice was more beautiful than a starry sky, sweeter than chocolate, and more melodious than a golden harp.

But I wasn't fooled. I knew I must've been seeing things. Or this was a fantastically complex joke. I couldn't believe it for a second…

"Stand back!" I picked up the tiny can of pepper spray that I carried in my jacket and directed it at the thing. "Get the hell out of here or you'll regret it!"

But to my complete shock and horror, the bloodstained, diamond lips just curled into a smirk. That should've been my clue right there that something was off, but I just figured that she thought I was bluffing…

"I warned you!" I pressed down on the tab, shutting my eyes as I heard a hiss. That should've done it…

I opened my eyes, which watered and burned from the pepper spray in the air. But through my blurred vision, I saw the thing standing there, still smiling, unaffected.

Now _that_ threw me off-guard.

"Wh-Who are you?" I dropped the pepper spray, backing up against the door. My eyes stung so badly that tears were rolling down my cheeks.

"No need to be afraid, Ellen." Her voice was so soothing, so harmonious…but I had to resist. I had to…

"I'm…seeing things." I assured myself. But it didn't do much good because the troubling thing was…why didn't anyone hear me scream?

"You are." it tossed its head back, its fiery hair flaring behind it. "You're seeing things that _exist, _Ellen."

"What do you want?" I spoke, trembling. It had to be fake. It just _had_ to be. But I began doubting that more and more as each second slipped by me.

"I'm merely here to give you what you _wished_ for." She took a step closer to me and I grabbed at the doorknob. Locked.

"You can't…do that." I replied angrily. "That's…impossible…"

"Anything is possible, Ellen." She was so close now that her dress was enshrouding me with its smoke. She lifted up her hand, showing me her sharp, ebony black fingernails. "Anything…" she touched my face with one finger and I was immediately filled with an intense electrical sensation. In fact, the intensity of her touch was so great that my entire body was vibrating like a massage chair on the highest setting.

"N-N-No..." I managed to say. "G-Go a-away. Y-You're…n-n-n-not…r-real."

"Tell me something, Ellen," she lifted my chin up with her pointy fingernail, studying me. "Do you wish to be beautiful?"

"Wh-Who…_d-doesn't?" _I deflected, my only defense mechanism.

"You want it more than most, however."

"Who are you to--?" I was cut off by the feel of her finger against my chapped bottom lip. Oh God.

"There's no need to deny it, Ellen." Her gaze was burning into my skull. "I'm just letting you know that you have the option."

"But…" Before I could even utter another word, a violent whirlwind swept my voice away. The sound of her voice still echoed in my head as I collapsed to the floor. The room spun before my eyes as the carpet dug into my knees.

It didn't take me long to understand that I was back to a place where things at least _sort of_ made sense.

"Ellen!"

_CiCi_. Finally.

"Ellen! Did you fall asleep in there or something?"

"N-No," I managed. "I just…_oh my God." _I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I was back in my normal clothes…

And the lingerie was neatly folded on the wooden bench. Untouched. What the freaking---?

"What's wrong?" CiCi asked, voice laced with concern.

"N-Nothing." I replied, standing up. My legs wobbled slightly but I was still able to keep my balance. "It just…didn't fit."

"Aww, too bad!" CiCi sympathized. "Well, come on out. You wanna try something else on then?"

"No…" I stepped out as quickly as I could, grabbing onto my friend's arm. "C'mon. Let's go."

"O-Okay…" CiCi looked rather disconcerted by my actions, but she knew better than to question me. I wasn't the type to spazz out, so when I did, it was with good reason.

So I dragged her out of the underwear store, leaving the lingerie far behind me. But even then, I didn't look back until we reached the ground floor.


End file.
